Barbara Reade, LCPC
Emotional Abuse
author: Barbara Reade, MS, LCPC
Emotional Abuse can be a difficult area to clearly define. Emotional abuse can cause as much, if not more, psychological damage to individuals receiving this kind of treatment. Too often the recipient feels powerless. There are several categories of emotional abuse. Check the list below to see what may apply to your situation.
Humiliation, degradation, judging, criticizing, discounting, negating:
• Is someone making fun of you or putting you down in front of others?
• Is someone teasing you, using sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?
• When you complain do they say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?
• Does this person tell you that your opinion or feelings are “wrong?”
• Does someone regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings?
Domination, control, and shame:
• Do you feel that someone treats you like a child?
• Does this person constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”
• Do you feel you must “get permission” before going somewhere or before making even small decisions?
• Does this person control your spending?
• Does this person treat you as though you are inferior to them?
• Does this person make you feel as though they are always right?
• Does this person remind you of your shortcomings?
• Does this person belittle your accomplishments, your aspirations, your plans or even who you are?
• Does this person give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?
- Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings:
• Does this person accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?
• Is this person unable to laugh at themselves?
• Is this person extremely sensitive when it comes to others making fun of them or making any kind of comment that seems to show a lack of respect?
• Is this person having trouble apologizing?
• Is this person making excuses for their behavior or tending to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?
• Is this person calling you names or label you?
• Is this person blaming you for their problems or unhappiness?
• Is this person continually having “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?
Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:
• Is this person use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection?
• Does this person not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?
• Does this person play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?
• Does this person not notice or care how you feel?
• Does this person not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?
Codependence and enmeshment:
• Does this person treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves?
• Does this person not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?
• Does this person disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?
• Does this person require continual contact and have they not developed a healthy support network among their own peers?
If any or several of these areas apply to your relationship it might be helpful for you to consult with a qualified mental health professional. This test alone should not be used to determine whether or not you are being emotionally abused, but with professional help you can determine your real situation and what you need to do to take care of yourself in the healthiest way possible.
Barbara Reade, MS, LCPC
Or email our office
If you have a life threatening emergency please call 911 immediately!
Specialist in Internal Family Systems, EMDR, & Ericksonian Hypnotherapy and Neurolinguistic Programming for treatment of: Trauma, Depression, Panic ,Parenting, Couples, Emotional Abuse, Stress & Addiction, Bipolar Disorder, Families, Codependency, Grief, Career Issues, Separation & Divorce, Phobias, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Emotional Abuse
author: Barbara Reade, MS, LCPC
Emotional Abuse can be a difficult area to clearly define. Emotional abuse can cause as much, if not more, psychological damage to individuals receiving this kind of treatment. Too often the recipient feels powerless. There are several categories of emotional abuse. Check the list below to see what may apply to your situation.
Humiliation, degradation, judging, criticizing, discounting, negating:
• Is someone making fun of you or putting you down in front of others?
• Is someone teasing you, using sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?
• When you complain do they say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?
• Does this person tell you that your opinion or feelings are “wrong?”
• Does someone regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings?
Domination, control, and shame:
• Do you feel that someone treats you like a child?
• Does this person constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”
• Do you feel you must “get permission” before going somewhere or before making even small decisions?
• Does this person control your spending?
• Does this person treat you as though you are inferior to them?
• Does this person make you feel as though they are always right?
• Does this person remind you of your shortcomings?
• Does this person belittle your accomplishments, your aspirations, your plans or even who you are?
• Does this person give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?
- Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings:
• Does this person accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?
• Is this person unable to laugh at themselves?
• Is this person extremely sensitive when it comes to others making fun of them or making any kind of comment that seems to show a lack of respect?
• Is this person having trouble apologizing?
• Is this person making excuses for their behavior or tending to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?
• Is this person calling you names or label you?
• Is this person blaming you for their problems or unhappiness?
• Is this person continually having “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?
Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:
• Is this person use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection?
• Does this person not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?
• Does this person play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?
• Does this person not notice or care how you feel?
• Does this person not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?
Codependence and enmeshment:
• Does this person treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves?
• Does this person not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?
• Does this person disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?
• Does this person require continual contact and have they not developed a healthy support network among their own peers?
If any or several of these areas apply to your relationship it might be helpful for you to consult with a qualified mental health professional. This test alone should not be used to determine whether or not you are being emotionally abused, but with professional help you can determine your real situation and what you need to do to take care of yourself in the healthiest way possible.
Barbara Reade, MS, LCPC
Or email our office
If you have a life threatening emergency please call 911 immediately!
Specialist in Internal Family Systems, EMDR, & Ericksonian Hypnotherapy and Neurolinguistic Programming for treatment of: Trauma, Depression, Panic ,Parenting, Couples, Emotional Abuse, Stress & Addiction, Bipolar Disorder, Families, Codependency, Grief, Career Issues, Separation & Divorce, Phobias, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.